


Very Nearly

by Cherith



Category: Dracula (TV 2013)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherith/pseuds/Cherith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The words are easy.  Saying them is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Very Nearly

Lucy nearly told her a dozen times.  The words always perched on the tip of her tongue ready to take wing at the smallest indication that Mina might respond the way she'd always hoped.

"Mina dear, that dress looks divine," she would say.   
An echo in her head would recant, _"I would much prefer to witness what lies beneath it."_

"Darling, we must go to the café," she would say.  
Behind her request was always another, _"Darling, let me take you to bed."_

Her hands ached where Mina clutched her fingers.  Her cheeks tingled with the remnants of friendly kisses.  It was dizzying, the feel of her so close and yet still so distant.  The words waited just on the other side of every breath, a dozen times a day.

Lucy nearly told her a hundred times.  The words always perched on the tip of her tongue ready to take wing at each smile from Mina's lips. 

"Why, Mina, I just cannot go without your company."  
"Please, Mina, let me escort you home."  
"Mina dear, I simply cannot leave you in such a state."  
"Sleep darling.  I will be here in the morning."

_"Just stay with me."_  
 _"Let me kiss you goodnight."_  
 _"I will never leave you."  
_ _"My bed is forever yours."_

It was devilish how so many of her requests were accepted with: a broad smile and clasped hands, the crush of arms around her chest, or a treasured kiss.  For Mina they were small tokens of her affection for Lucy, gifts that she gave freely because there was nothing in them but friendship.  For Lucy they were breath and life.

Mina, for all her cleverness, was not to blame.  Even if she was, Lucy could never claim that truth.

Lucy nearly told her a thousand times.  The words always perched on the tip of her tongue ready to take wing at even the slightest touch from Mina's fingertips.

"I want to be a doctor," Mina said.

_"And I want to be yours."_

It had been that moment, the light of rebellion and confidence in Mina's eyes, that had sparked Lucy's heart from friendship to desire.  In the years that followed, she felt like a shadow in the light of Mina's brilliance.  She listened tirelessly to the details of lectures and conversations from Mina's day.  The way Mina's face shone as she spoke of such things was the light that kept Lucy's attention.  Mina's excitement was bright and contagious and Lucy was driven to fuel that exuberance no matter the cost.

But in the shadow of those moments, her mind filled with the things she should have said.

_"Can I kiss you?"_  
 _"Will you stay with me?"_  
 _"I want you, Mina."  
_ _"Never leave me."_

In the safety of her own bed, she could think clearly.  Lucy Westenra was no shrinking violet.  She was not the type of woman to hold her tongue when it came to the things that mattered, when it came to things she wanted.  But what she felt for Mina was no simple attraction. 

It should have been so simple. 

There were thousands of times, thousands of touches and smiles and moments when she could've made her intentions truly known. 

 _"Miss Mina Murray,"_ she might say, _"it would make me the happiest woman in all the world if you would be mine."  
_ _"Dearest Mina,"_ she could say, _"I hold you more dear than anything else in the world."  
_ _"Could you ever love a woman like me?"_

 _Could she ever love a woman?  Any woman?_  
If she could love any woman then surely she could love, would love, a woman like Lucy Westenra.  Lucy, who loved Mina so fiercely it frightened her and too deeply to ever tell her.

Lucy nearly told her a million times.  The words were always perched on the tip of her tongue ready, but too heavy to ever take wing.


End file.
